MrSalt's Very Mature Way of Dealing with Things
by Defiant-Crayon
Summary: A bright and sunny day on which Mr.Salt goes a little insane.
1. Chapter 1

It was a very sunny, bright afternoon when Steve, Blue, and everyone besides Shovel and Mr. Salt left the house. It was for no particular reason. But, to cut a long story short, Mr. Salt found the Liquor cabinet, and the 'special no-touch' gun cabinet, belonging to Steve. Shovel was sustaining in the backyard, paying no attention to the shooting coming from inside the house.

You see, ever since a few days ago, when Salt found out that his mother had been sleeping with his brother, and Gray's Anatomy wasn't coming in on his TV anymore, he had turned into a hardened Gangster Salt Dude. (It was the TV thing that really messed with his brain).

And now, he had gotten himself a gun.

And was in a murderous/suicidal mood.

Because of all that booze, his aim wasn't that well. He had mistaken a lamp for Steve and a baby chiwawa for Blue. That poor, poor chiwawa. To cut a short story shorter, Mr. Salt grabbed another gun, and went off to Penguin Tech. to shoot some penguin ass, and grab some Killer Whale ass. He is now a playa mob boss, and is very happy.

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

Chappie Two!

(A/N: Bet'cha thought I wasn't going to continue this, huh? Well, HA!)

It was a few months after Mr. Salt had…..erm……claimed his independence. He was in a very important meeting with the other mob-boss condiments right now. Cinnaminamon had the floor.

"What the –words that burn paper inserted here- were you thinkin' fewl? You made Mr. Pepper sleep with the fishes."

The spicy spice said, all the while shaking his hands in the shape of guns. Habit, you could say. Now, Mr. Salt could talk.

"I was moody."

That was his explination. All of a sudden, Sugar (Her real name is Heidi, but too many people kept calling her Heidi-hoe, so she changed it.)

"EHMYGAWD!" Called her loud, and very obnoxious voice, "I BROUGHT THE CHEESE!"

This was met with many loud cheers, and a chorus of 'booyas'. You see, all the spices had one thing in common; they liked to get a high off of cheese.

**ONE HOUR LATER**

Everyone was starting to get up, groggily, after what had seemed to be the biggest cheese party of the century. It was quiet. TOO quiet. Until, a most serious and grevious accusation ripped through the silence like a nine millimeter bullet.

"Why the &$& do you have my happy meal toy?" Mr. Salt cried, pointing at the accused Paprika.

"Wait-I can exp-" The spice's explination was cut short by him being shot by several different people.

No one complained. Take the happy meal toy, and it was personal. To end this lovely scene, rainbow colored penguins flew into the area, singing 'Hey there good times, (Bows)' From the musical 'I love my Wife'

Hey there, good times, here I am  
Welcome back your baby lamb  
Open wide them golden doors  
And set my chair down next to yours  
I've been freezin', sneezin'  
Out there where the bad times blow  
Please don't stop to scold me  
Let your lovin' arms enfold me...

Hey there, good times, take my hand  
Give my music to the band  
Dust off that old welcome mat  
And show me where to hang my hat  
I've been lost for all these years  
Cryin' buckets full of tears  
Please don't be so cold and chilly  
Welcome back your Weepin' Willy...

Hey there, good times, let me in  
Ask me how the hell I been  
Turn my picture from the wall  
And hug me till I start to bawl  
I've been boozin', losin'  
Out there where the bad times grow  
Lead me to your villa  
Turn my bed down, puff my pillow...

Hey there, good times, take me back  
Grab my suitcase, pay the hack  
Kiss my cheek and shout my name  
And make me feel I'm glad I came  
I been down in Satan's den  
Ain't felt good since don't know when  
Though I'm used and bruised and muddy  
Clap my back and call me buddy

Bye bye bad times  
Pack your gear  
I've had sad times  
Up to here  
Hey there glad times  
Please appear  
Show me that I'm not forgotten  
Oil me down and spoil me rotten

So long bum days  
Gotta split  
Gloomy glum days  
Go on, git  
Sugarplum days  
Shake my mitt  
Shout hurray and hallelujah  
Happy days I'm comin' to yah!

Bye bye bad times  
So long sad times  
Hey there good times... (Hey there good times!)  
Here I am!  
Hey there good times!

Another end.


End file.
